There was certainly and absolutely no sense of exclusivity

Penny went to DEAN STREET TOWNHOUSE 08/11/2015

Specs: 👓

Overall Rating: ⭐️

Average Cost pp: £25

Nearest Tube: Leicester Square

https://www.deanstreettownhouse.com/

It is hard to miss the presence of Dean Street Townhouse as a go-to place for London brunchers when perusing the worldwide web’s lists of city hot spots. Filtering through various accreditations the place consistently ends up on top. It’s a marked achievement in a heavily saturated brunch market. Understandably then I was excited to take up the opportunity of a well-earned meal after some early morning tennis with my siblings (as much as spectatorship and commentary can be counted for ‘well-earned’). Part of the Soho House collection Dean Street Townhouse services hotel guests for breakfast as well as fleeting customers. This was obvious on arrival, the morning spread and weekend newspapers laid out on the bar welcomed us as well as friendly front of house who took our coats and tennis bits. The décor felt very ‘clubhouse’ – dark woods and plush armchairs chairs. Brass furnishings. Brasserie tiles. And the staff are dressed formally in black and white (ties included) to meet this ambiance.

Once seated and settled we deliberated the menu at leisure. Don’t expect anything too exciting, Dean Street provides your archetypal brunches and not much else. Not of course a bad thing if executed well. Siblings decided on eggs in their varieties and I went for kedgeree. It was around the time we had settled on our choices that we became aware of the lack attention to our needs. We sat on our decisions for another ten minutes or so before finally grabbing a waiter who would take our order. A waiter who was brash, and blunt, and rushed, and disinterested. I will call him waiter#1 for the purpose of my ensuing grind with the service at Dean Street. He took our drinks orders then explained that another member of waiting staff would be back for food orders. Ten minutes later waiter#2, with a similar flighting and rude manner, took our food order. Despite cracks starting to show, in true British manner we smiled politely and the service (or lack of) was not bought up at the table. Hereafter however succeeded a sequence, almost algorithmic in its turnover of waiters, that could not avoid mention. Staff would appear at our table whether to drip feed our drinks order through (waiter#5 said these would be removed of the bill), asking for the fourth time what dishes were ordered, bringing over another table’s food, or asking for the tenth time what it was exactly that was ordered. Through gritted teeth we endured 45 minutes of this intrusive and tiresome game (from ordering!) for our, may I add exceedingly simple, dishes to arrive. Even then food arrived late and we were approached by waiter#8 to ask AGAIN what it was we had ordered.

The food itself was good and the coffee nice and everything tasted pleasant. But it was blighted entirely by the waiting experience and the fact we were now running behind on other Saturday activities, that it was unappreciated and rushed. Not savoured. When the bill arrived I was horrified to see nothing had been knocked off and service charge had been cheekily added. I expressed my dissatisfaction to waiter#11 and stressed that waiters>#11 had ensured me that we would not pay for many of the faults. She disappeared sending over waiter#12 to broach me, who in turn sent over waiter#11621.02(a), presumably the manager, who prepared an adjusted bill that still exceeded what should have been paid (which upon reflection was nothing). Eventually printing off a final receipt he apologised and hurried off to manage more chaos ensuing on the right. This was the worst service I have ever received. The staff apart from being ill-mannered, were distressed, confused, and simply not very good at keeping the chaos that was the entire Saturday morning sitting underlid. The whole experience was loud and chaotic – there was certainly and absolutely no sense of exclusivity that the Soho House brand so intends to perpetuate.